Things people would rather have than money

British taxidermist and sometimes artist Damien Hirst created this platinum-cast, diamond-encrusted skull to be shown at a London jewelry museum. Hirst claims that the piece was sold for £50 million (US $100m) to an anonymous customer.

What the bloody hell do you want to have a diamond skull instead of ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS??!! Wouldn't you rather have:

• A new garage door opener?
• A pair of snow boots?
• A frying pan with built-in AM/FM radio?
• A hot tub on the roof filled with champagne and goldfish and buxom concubines holding clean linens for you??

There are things that some people would rather have than money, and I just do not understand…

Never buy electronics from kebab carts

My brother Sanjay bought this 512 MB iPod Shuffle from a street vendor, and it doesn't even work!

We took the cap off the top to access the headphone port and the whole thing broke apart. So then we tried to poke in its bottom but that port is missing, it must be a manufacturing defect, that is why he got it so cheap.

I told him never to buy electronics from kebab carts, but does he listen to me? No!

"Steak-dar" is the stupidest marketing idea ever

A recent television advertisement for a local cow-slaughtering steakhouse restaurant has a line cook boasting about his radar-like ability to understand when a slab of beef has been cooked to unholy perfection. He calls it "steak-dar" and I call it bloody stupid!

What self-respecting chef would call a vague intuition ANYTHING-dar?? Does he really have friends who make up embarrassing catch-phrases about his ability to brown meat? "Steak radar?" THAT will entice customers? (Besides, cows are sacred; eating them is forbidden. Did his friends tell him that?)

Watch ME steam a basket of rice: when I know it's done, I say it's "rice-dar." And after I have tossed the salad, I will know when I have tossed it enough thanks to my gift of "salad-dar." (Bloody stupid marketing idea…)