Shamed out of inactivity by a Scouser

I am to thank you all for your patience while my typing finger healed (it was the left one), and to please ask for your patience while I think of new stories to compose out of the thin air.

(Acknowledgment goes to a Liverpudlian of my same generation, who despite falling off the ferry cross the Mersey, is still a right good fellow, and just about the only person I know who will publicly admit to reading the tripe on my blog. Thank you for your support, and Sam Weller too...)

So, whilst I crack my knuckles and hunker down for a prolonged session of new writing activity here —— hold on, there's the doorbell...

An excuse note from my mother

Dear ___________,

Please excuse my son Lamb from writing his blog entries.

He broke whichever finger it is he types with.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Saag

Chef Emeril feels terrible over kitchen violence

French comic book super-hero turned American celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse has given a woman in suburban Ohio a set of his overpriced signature pans after she used a pan from her own collection to be hitting a bad guy over the head.

There is no word yet on which pan Ellen Basinski used against her assailants, but it is assumed that as she whacked the home-invasion aggressors, she loudly exclaimed "BAM! BAM! Get the bloody hell out of my house you ne'er-do-wells, BAM!! My sauté pan is going to kick it up a notch on your skull!!"

The Elyria Police Department seized the pan as criminal evidence and is holding it until they can auction it for the department's Fall Fundraiser. Meanwhile, Mr. Lagasse was so pitiful of the woman losing her favorite pan that he gave her a new set, and after the frightening event, he is considering a collaboration with German cutlery maker Wüsthof to manufacture a line of kitchen combat knives, or at least a block set that is including a trench knife.