Saturday, February 28, 2009

Chef Emeril feels terrible over kitchen violence

French comic book super-hero turned American celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse has given a woman in suburban Ohio a set of his overpriced signature pans after she used a pan from her own collection to be hitting a bad guy over the head.

There is no word yet on which pan Ellen Basinski used against her assailants, but it is assumed that as she whacked the home-invasion aggressors, she loudly exclaimed "BAM! BAM! Get the bloody hell out of my house you ne'er-do-wells, BAM!! My sauté pan is going to kick it up a notch on your skull!!"

The Elyria Police Department seized the pan as criminal evidence and is holding it until they can auction it for the department's Fall Fundraiser. Meanwhile, Mr. Lagasse was so pitiful of the woman losing her favorite pan that he gave her a new set, and after the frightening event, he is considering a collaboration with German cutlery maker Wüsthof to manufacture a line of kitchen combat knives, or at least a block set that is including a trench knife.

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